Wilson Count Parents

The Most Effective Parenting Styles

2013-04-13T10:09:59Z

Effective parenting technique is a puzzling topic that sometimes burnt out experts and became a topic of brewing debates. However, developmental psychologists only began to study parenting and its influences on children in the 1920′s. Most experts studying the most effective parenting technique rely on the concept of Diana Baumrind’s three parenting styles, in which was found the authoritative parenting style to be the most balanced and healthiest.

Parenting can be seen as broad and limitless, when taking into consideration the differences in family values within the context of the norm, religious concepts, and many other ideals that shape the way parents deal with their children. Yet, failure in parenting cannot be solely blamed on specific instances but is seen as a typology of general practices of parents.

So what is the effective parenting technique? As broad as it might sound, authoritative parenting combines parental responsiveness and parental demandingness vis-à-vis the age of a child. Parental responsiveness (Terrific Parenting) describes a parent’s intent to foster self-regulation, individuality, and self-assertion by being supportive of and adjusting to a child’s needs and desires. Parental demandingness relates more to controlling a child’s behavior that is seen as inappropriate, and a parent’s willingness to enforce gentle disciplinary efforts, and confronting a child who intentionally disobeys or has committed a mistake.

Parenting Styles and Temper Tantrums

2013-04-13T10:05:29Z

When a child throws a temper tantrum, parenting style influences how adults around the child will react. Understanding the triggers of a temper tantrum for a child is the first step to handling the unexpected emotional outburst. Tantrums usually occur when a child is tired, frustrated, hungry or feeling otherwise uncomfortable, and can find no other way to express the boiling emotion. If a parent remains calm, he or she can help the child by eliminating the cause of the tantrum before it happens or redirecting the energy in a more responsible and appropriate way.

Often during physical, mental, emotional or psychological growth spurts, a child may become agitated, frustrated or angry. But tantrums are not just limited to the time before major breakthroughs. There are normal patterns of disequilibrium in all kids. During normal development, a child is trying to distinguish himself or herself as distinct individuals, separate from those around. During these challenging times of growth, children may not have the verbal skills to explain the anxiety or frustration being felt. This is a skill that must be learned. If a child learns that all feelings are accepted and respected and the child is helped to express them in words and responsible actions, he or she will find it easier to adapt those skills to the different stages of growth.

Parenting style has a significant impact on a parent’s perspective of these emotional outbursts. The authoritarian parent, who demands obedience and rules by fear, stifles a child’s natural expression of true feeling. Sadness, anger, and hostility are all punished by an authoritarian parent. This parenting type may use threats which will only add fuel to the fire of a child’s temper tantrum.

A permissive parent may try at first to ignore the tantrum or brush it off as something that has to be tolerated. This parent will probably use bribes to get the child to stop the tantrum. Or the permissive parent gives in and lets the child have whatever he or she wants in hopes of placating the child and stopping the negative emotion.

The authoritative parent tries to be in tune with the child’s needs. Knowing a child’s triggers, this parent avoids situations that may spark the child’s emotional outburst. Being flexible with schedule, the authoritative parent stresses the importance of emotional connection and relationship building with the child, even during times of challenging emotional expression.

Three Different Parenting Styles, Are You Authoritarian, Authoritative Or Permissive?

2013-04-13T10:00:37Z

Take a trip down memory lane, how did your parents try to manage your behaviour. Were they controlling, guiding or just laid back. Chances are that you probably use the same techniques to discipline your own offspring. We all would have learnt from experiences throughout our own childhood.

The way your parents brought you up is probably the same way you are raising your children right now.

The three types of parenting styles are:

Authoritarian – a parent who likes to control.

Authoritative – someone who leads and gives guidance.

Permissive – an anything goes, laid back casual approach.

Controlling parents have strict rules that must be followed. They try to have power over their children and issue commands at all times. And issue demands and are unresponsive. There is no room for failure to comply with these rules they make or punishment will be the result. These children have a tendency to be more reserved, more apprehensive, unhappy and have low self esteem. Confrontational, angry and unwilling to persist with most tasks that they encounter. Children of controlling parents are unable to make decisions on their own and sometimes can become self-destructive.

Authoritative parenting still have limits on their children but encourage them to be more independent and to make their own decisions, giving guidance when needed. Using this technique with children seem to create a more cooperative child. When requested to perform a task they see it as being fair and reasonable. These children tend to be more self-confident when it comes to dealing with their own needs, they have a confidence in their parents that they will always be there for them, listen to their needs. In doing this, these parents will create a child that will develop trust for others either in business or just in family life.

Permissive parents are responsive but not demanding. Tending to be more lenient and tolerant. These parents are very nurturing and accept children’s needs and wants. Letting children make their own decisions early in their life even if they are not capable of doing so. No rules or boundaries are set and children are made to feel as though they are free. Children raised by lenient parents can have higher self-esteem and better social skills but are inclined to have behaviour problems.

These parenting styles teach our children and can be a great influence on how they develop and socialise throughout their learning years and into adulthood.